Dear Sirius [ENG]

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Del 6

Remus was rummaging through the cupboard where Sirius kept his food when a thought hit him.

He went off to try to find Sirius, which was easier said than done, because the Grimmauld Place was a very big house. He had searched almost every floor of the house, including the attic (which wasn't all too pleasant, because the attic was haunted by a ghost who made even Moaning Myrtle look cheerful), when he finally found him sitting on the wooden stairs leading down to the cellar.

"Siri, why are you sitting here?" he asked cautiosly, studying the tense lines of Sirius' face from his place beside him.

Sirius seemed to watch the dust, floating in the sunray that passed through the single, tiny little window high up on the wall.

"For many summers that tiny window was my only connection to the world outside, my only hope of ever being happy and free," Sirius' usually grey eyes were almost black and Sirius' voice was heavy, loaded with emotions, as he spoke. Emotions he would have hid from anyone else but Remus.

"Oh," Remus gasped in shock, "Oh Merlin, I'm so very sorry Siri, I didn't remember they had kept you locked up in here", and then he moved in to hold his soulmate. He couldn't believe he had actually forgotten about the summers away from school when he had been worried sick about Sirius.

"They told me I was a disgrace to our family and a danger to society, so they thought I was better off locked up in here". A tear had now forced it's way to Sirius' eye, and he was without success trying to blink it away.

Soon the tears had started to fall heavily onto Remus' shoulder as he held Sirius, and a dark spot had appeared on Remus' otherwise grey shoulder. Remus rocked his lover slowly, hushed in a low, soothing voice and carefully ran his fingers over Sirius' slightly tangled hair.

"You're not a disgrace to your family, not to any family at all! In fact, you're the best thing that's ever happened to your family, you're the white sheep in a Black family," Remus said softly when he thought Sirius was calm enough to listen, "And that about you being a danger to society I can kind of agree on, you never know what happens when you're around", he added with a little chuckle.

Even Sirius smiled a little.

"Thankyou," he whispered, "Now then, why did you come searching for me?" he asked as he tried to gain some of his pride again.

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Araceli: åh, tack. :3



Del 7


"I've missed having you around," Sirius admitted as he held a reading Remus possessively in his lap, "You know, just having you around, seeing you wander around the house, knowing you're there if I need you. Just having you in my everyday life. I know I usually complained about the fact that all you ever did was read, but after I died I would have done anything to see you read once more, my heart was aching so."

Remus looked up from the old, dusty book he was reading and tried to turn around in Sirius' lap, which made it very uncomfortable for Sirius. Still, he didn't let him go. Remus finally managed to somehow turn around and saw his own emotions reflected in Sirius' face.

Grief, hurting and pain. He knew that Sirius was telling the exact truth, nothing more, nothing less. Besides, he'd never lie to his lover.

"The books in this place must have been torture to you then," Remus sighed as he drowned in those warm, grey eyes.

"Not really. They gave me some comfort. I felt as if I was closer to you when I was reading. I used to sit like you often do, with your legs crossed. At first it was really uncomfortable, but now I can't stand sitting any other way", Remus sniggered a little at that, "I've probably read all your favourite books a hundered times already. Do you know how special you are, who got me to read? Of course you do, I tell you every day.."

Remus leaned in for a very loving kiss before he said "You're special too, you got me into mischief-making". There was a fire burning in Remus' eyes at the memories.

Sirius chuckled and placed a small kiss on Remus' nose.

"I read your letters too, guess if I was scared out of my mind when I was about to go to bed that night and found a letter lying on my bed? Merlin's beard.." Sirius shook his head at the memory. "Of course, when I saw it was from you I got very puzzled."

"WHAT? You've read my letters? But.. But how? How could they end up here?" Remus almost screamed.

Sirius held Remus tightly. "Don't ask me, this house works in mysterious ways."

Sirius looked puzzled, and again Remus found his Sirius had drifted off to a faraway place, staring out into space with a sad expression on his beautiful face.

"Siri?" Remus asked as he carefully turned around so that he had his back agains Sirius' chest again

"Yes dear?" Sirius asked as he nuzzled into Remus' light brown hair.

"Promise me you'll love me forever."

Sirius turned stiff behind Remus and didn't reply for a while, as if he was choosing his words carefully.

But when he did reply, his voice held the slightest hint of sorrow that only Remus could ever have noticed and which made Remus' brows furrow in confusion.

"I promise to love you until the day I die."

"That doesn't make sense," Remus huffed, "You're already dead."

"Then surely, it must mean that I will love you forever?" Sirius said and held Remus just a little bit tighter.

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Tack Bombarda!

Del 8

After that emotional talk on the sofa, Remus decided it was time for dinner, so he started rummaging through the kitchen cupboard again on a quest to find something he could cook (Remus was actually very good at cooking, something Sirius always complained about because apparently, it made him fat), and that was when his thought came back to him. He noticed there wasn't very much food left in the cupboard, so he went to find Sirius.

He found Sirius in crouched over his desk in his study, reading a book. Remus gasped when he saw what book it was, Sirius was reading nothing less than Hogwarts: A History.

"You still have that book?" Remus eyes were wide with surprise. He thought Sirius had destroyed all his school books after they left Hogwarts.

"Yeah, I wanted to save a piece of Hogwarts. Hogwarts was my sanctuary from what was happening at home, it's the only place where I've ever felt completely happy." Sirius dragged Remus closer and stroked Remus' waist lovingly. "This is the only thing I've got left of Hogwarts, if you don't count the memories and the toilet seat I hide in my closet." Sirius sniggered at the memory of an old prank involving explosives and Hogwarts toilets.

"Eww, you still have that toilet seat? I thought you were just joking when you said you'd take it home with you.. And about your feelings towards Hogwarts, that's pretty much what I feel too, you know, with the whole 'My-parents-are-failing-to-see-the-human-in-me' thing." Remus said and sighed at the thought.

"You know I did anything to annoy my parents at that time, and you can never just take for granted that I'm not always serious like that, pretty much of the time I actually am serious, I'm serious Sirius, remember?" Sirius said and winked.

"Oh stop it, you're a babbling old fool!" Remus chuckled and prodded Sirius on the shoulder.

"Hey! Who are you calling old?" Sirius grabbed for his quill and started to tickle Remus at his wrists, where his skin was very delicate and where Sirius always loved to tickle him. This made Remus scream like a girl as he ran out of the study to try and hide from Sirius, and Sirus went after him in a hurry. So they ran around the house in a wild game of tag where Remus was the pray, knocking down vases and making the curtain over Sirius' mother's paiting fall off, leaving her screaming about mudbloods and werewolves, as they ran through the house, but having way too much fun to care.

The chase came to an end on Sirius' (and now Remus' too) bed, where Sirius tickled Remus silly, and after he had given up and admitted that Sirius wasn't in fact very old at all, they both lay panting on the bed, still giggling a little. That was when Remus remembered why he had wanted to talk to Sirius in the first place, so he decided to spit it out immediately this time, before he was interrupted again.

"Sirius, the food is almost out in the kitchen cupboard. How do we get more food?" he asked with a voice filled with wonder.

"I told you this house works in mysterious ways. Here, let me show you!" Sirius said as he reached out his hand for Remus to take, laughing at the confused look on Remus' face. Remus, indeed, seemed a little uncertain about whether it was safe to follow Sirius or not.

His insecurity lead to the fact that Sirius had to drag him along, and so he dragged him through all the corridors and long, winding stairs down to the kitchen. For the Grimmauld Place was indeed a very large house.

In the kitchen Sirius made a move towards the cupboard door, but seemed to change his mind right before his fingers touched the golden handle. Instead he stood in front of the door, and Remus jumped a little as he suddenly spoke with a strong voice.

"I, Sirius Black, master of this house, wants this cupboard to be filled with delicacies of different kinds. And I also want the cupboard to contain ingredients for a nice meal of lasagna that my lover, Remus Lupin, will cook for us. Understood?"

Remus caught himself waiting for the house to answer, and he wanted to put a big note on his forehead where it said "Stupid", for actually believing a house could answer you.

But there was, however, a low thud of the groceries landing in the cupboard.

And surely enough, as Sirius opened the door and gestured for Remus to take a look inside, the cupboard was filled to the brim with groceries.

Sirius observed as Remus' face went from disbelief to shock to something resembling joy.

Remus turned around with a wide grin, "How? How did this happen?"

Sirius sighed and gave Remus a disappointed look. "Haven't I told you a million times already that I don't know how it works? I figured it out a couple of days after I got here when I found myself wishing I had an extra pillow in my bed."

"Well, I'm surprised this place isn't filled to the brim with motorbikes then," Remus said in a fake mocking voice.

"Ha ha, very funny Rem. Don't you think I've tried? But this house seems to have some limitations, one of them being that it's totally impossible to get any muggle technology in here at all, even watches don't work here. It has to have something to do with my bloody mother and her stupid muggle hate. That was one of the reasons I started reading too, because I couldn't get a bloody television in here" Sirius said and pouted.

All of a sudden Remus felt very sorry for his lover, and attempted to cheer him up a little. "But you've got magic, you don't need things like that. Now cheer up. And I think the freezing spell in that cupboard is starting to fade." Remus pointed vaguely at the cupboard.

"See? This would never have happened with a muggle refrigerator!" Sirius seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown of frustration towards the anti-muggle mother of his.

"Well, actually, they do break you know.. But I think what you need now is a nice little nap before dinner. I'll stay here and cook. I'll fix the cupboard too," he said, and with a wave of his wand he updated the freezing spell on the cupboard, and then he quickly but gently shooed Sirius out of the kitchen.

When dinner was ready, Remus set the table and lit two candles that he placed in the middle of the table. Then he dimmed the lights in the dining room and made his way to their bedroom to wake Sirius up.

At first Remus didn't want to wake Sirius up, because he looked so peaceful where he lay curled up under a red blanket. A stray lock fell over his right eye, and Remus leaned in to carefully brush it away. As Sirius felt the gentle touch he smiled in his sleep and murmurred something that sounded like 'o njs to hev you hr' and Remus whispered in Sirius' ear, "It's very nice to be here too". And to that, Sirius woke up. Remus immediately embraced Sirius with a hug and softly whispered "Dinner's ready", and Sirius slowly, and very reluctantly got out of the bed and followed Remus down to the dining room.

When Sirius saw the romantic setting in the dining room he stopped, his eyes almost watering and his mouth hanging open from the beauty of it. And from the beauty of Remus, because in that moment, in that lighting, Remus looked like an ancient, Greek god. He had to say it, he couldn't stop himself. "Rem, you look like Greek god right now, and I swear, I'm confused out of my mind about how a man like me could ever get a man like you.."

"Siri, dear Siri, don't you know? The good girls always fall for the bad boys." Remus winked and shot Sirius a quick smile before he gestured for Sirius to sit down, he even pulled out Sirius' chair for him.

"This feels weird.. It feels like I should be the one preparing this romantic dinner, and I should be the one pulling out your chair.. Please tell me you haven't become dominant in bed too?" Sirius looked mildly horrified at the thought.

"Well, you couldn't be the one preparing the meal, you would just set fire to everything.. But I'd trust you with the setting and the pulling-out-my chair part. And I don't know, maybe we should find out later?" Remus wiggled his eyebrow, and even he had to admit that it felt weird, it actually felt like a very Sirius thing to do, almost as if Sirius had taken patent on the eyebrow wiggle.

But now it was Remus doing it, and if he was doing it he was going to do it good.

As soon as they both had sat down, a tray of lasagna floated through the air in the dining room, hovered above Sirius' plate, cut out the amount of lasagna it knew Sirius would want and then the lasagna lowered itself onto Sirius' plate. Then it repeated the process on Remus' plate, even though Remus' piece was alot smaller than Sirius' piece.

The lasagna turned out to be perfectly cooked, and after they had finished the plates vanished and were replaced by smaller plates with heart-shaped chocolate cupcakes on them. Sirius looked stunned, "I don't think I can eat any more right now, I'm very full from the lasagna. But just because it look really delicious, I'll eat it." Sirius said.

Then Remus took up his fork, placed a piece of his cupcake on it, reached over the table and held the fork right before Sirius' mouth. Sirius took the fork into his mouth and tasted the delicious cupcake, it even smelled of chocolate. His eyes fluttered closed as he held the chocolate in his mouth. But then his eyes widened in horror and he almost choked on the cupcake, "REMUS! REMUS YOU'RE ON FIRE! MERLIN'S BEARD!", then Sirius quickly reached for his wand and yelled "AGUAMENTI" before any serious harm had been done to Remus' delicate skin. Remus had hardly even had the time to register the fire before it was put out by Sirius, his knight in shining armour, and balance was restored again.

As they were brushing their teeth that evening, after Sirius had insisted on carrying Remus up the many stairs to the bedroom, Remus had a thought. A thought that terrified him.

With a trembling voice he looked at Sirius in the mirror and said, "Siri.. Does it hurt you that I moved on and got a son?"

Sirius' eyes instantly darted up to meet Remus' amber eyes in the mirror. Sirius looked maybe a little bit shocked by the question and didn't answer for a while. Instead, he was drumming his fingers against the red and gold sink (something Remus was sure was Sirius' doing, his way of being a rebel).

Finally Sirius turned towards Remus with the tiniest, slightly crooked smile, "No, like you said, you didn't really love her. You just wanted to feel something again. And regarding your son, I would've been glad to meet him. I'm sure he must look or act just like you", and then Sirius left it to that. It was clear to Remus that this discussion was over, and he respected that.

They continued to brush their teeth in silence, and every time one moved forward to spit, the other one withdrew, as in a gracious dance. However, the first evening they spent together again had been anything but a gracious dance, since they weren't completely used to being together again, and Remus had by mistake spat in Sirius' hair, so that his lovely black locks had become white all over. Remus had gone pale and horrified, but Sirius had laughed so much that he had had to sit down on the toilet seat, and it had taken him about half an hour before he was calm enough to get himself cleaned up and to assure Remus that no harm had been done and that he should let the blood back into his face again.

Sirius finished brushing his teeth before Remus did, so he leaned back against the black tile wall and studied Remus in the ornate mirror with a slightly evil, but still loving smirk on his face. Remus quickly acknowledged the smirk, "What are you smirking at, Padfoot?".

"Oh, I'm just loving the way you slide that toothbrush in and out of your mouth like that", the sparkle in Sirius' eyes was there, and Remus nearly choked on his toothbrush.

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