How will I ever be whole again? [ENG][PG-13]

Åh men HUGS, vad snälla ni är!

Bevakar!

Chapter 4.

He felt the angst growing in his chest, and all his dark thoughts were eating him from the inside. But he didn’t feel worthy of feeling this angst, didn’t felt like he had permission to be this sad, because he was alive, unharmed bodily, and he had food on the table every day if he wanted, he had gotten a new broomstick from Bill as a “cheer-up present”, which he never had touched, and yet he felt like he never was going to be cheerful again. It was almost like a dementor had hidden inside of him, and taking out every good memory from his soul.

Yesterday had been awful. He had woken up early, woken by a scream from his mother. After a while, he had come to the conclusion that she was calling for him, so he went downstairs, feeling like he sooner or later had to face her. If he didn’t had gone there, she would have went straight upstairs to him, and there was not many things that seemed more frightening than being alone with an angry and temperamental Molly Weasley in a small bedroom. She had been at him for almost an hour, screaming how irresponsible, selfish and stupid he had been, jinxing his sister. And George didn’t even bother to tell that it wasn’t on purpose, he hadn’t made any attempt to defend himself. He had just stood there, and forced himself not to burst into tears in all the angst and guilt that he felt. And then, Ron had arrived, and begun to scream at them both for waking him up this early. After that, everything had just gone out of control. Molly seemed more furious than ever, but only she knew that she in fact had been frustrated and worried. But on the surface, she was screaming hot, burning words, with a gasping and uncontrolled voice, her eyes had been narrowed, barely visible, and that is what Ron and George saw. For a while, all three of them had screamed at each other. No one of them could really hear what the others were trying to say, because if they had, the conversation had been much shorter, and all of them would have been much more forgiving after. Finally, Ron got tired of screaming, and went out for a ride on his broom, ignoring Molly’s attempt to talk to him again. And then Percy was there, newly arrived from his night-shift at the Ministry of Magic. He had asked his mother for every detail of what they had been arguing about. George wasn’t the only one who felt guilt, Percy did too, so he had tried hard to make the family stay close. Molly seemed to give up about yelling at George and let him go, and had a calm and very adult conversation with Percy. From that moment, George had been sitting in his room, not answering to anyone’s knock on the door, and no one had bothered to knock twice.

He felt very hungry. It was nothing unusual nowadays, but he hadn’t been without food for this long. A while, the pain he felt had took over the hunger, but there were physical laws he could not change; one needed food to survive. He had tried to bring some food with “accio”, but only half-hearted. He thought he had heard a crash and wondered if a bowl of cookies laid outspread on the kitchen floor, broken.

“I can’t stay here like this”, he thought to himself. “I must leave. I can’t stand this place anymore. This is too much to handle. They’re better off without me.”
And that last sentence kept repeating itself in his mind for hours.
They’re better off without me.
They’re better off without me.
They’re better off without me.
THEY’RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME.

And the next morning, when Molly decided to apologize to her son and talking to him about seeing a Healer who took care of mental issues and problems, she found George’s bed empty.

Wow! Det är verkligen bra! AWESOME!
Blev helt inne i det och ville inte att kapitlet skulle ta slut! Så skriv lite längre på nästa kapitel om du vill!
MER!

Haha, tack så mycket, jag blev faktiskt inte alls nöjd med detta kapitel, men kul att du gillar det. Tror dock att de här är den ungefärliga längden jag kommer ha på kapitel, för jag tycker det är bättre än att skriva allt för långa, kan bli drygt att läsa då. ^^

^ Agree. Inte så mycket längre, då blir det mest jobbigt. Bättre med fler kapitel då tycker jag!

Din fanfic är verkligen bra! Och din engelska också

Förstår hur du menar! ^^
Och det om det är bättre att skriva som du gör, så gör det! För det ska vara bra för den som skriver också!
Så skriv vidare för det är verkligen en bra fanfic! It Is Awesome!!

WOW, trevor, den här ÄGER. Åhhh, jag vill ha ett nytt kapitel! Och ett till! Och ett till! Jag vill bara fortsätta att läsa!
Känslorna som du beskriver hos George kan jag verkligen föreställa mig att han känner just då, och jag älskar den lilla cliffhangern i slutet, att det indikerar på att något hänt, han har lämnat dem. Då blir man så HIMLA nyfiken som läsare på vad som kommer hända och vart han ska så man vill bara ha MER.
Ännu en gång, den här ficen äger. And your english is great!
Superbra, trevor, superbra.

Ett nytt kapitel, med ovanligt mycket dialog. vilket jag inte är allt för van vid Enjoy.

Chapter 5.

“It hopeless to try to find out what it is”, shouted Bill, who had been in his home in the Shell Cottage over the night. A few days after the big Wizarding War had terminated and Bill and Fleur had gone home, they have been greeted with an unbearable stank, so they now lived in the Burrow for a while. Once in a while, they went over to the Shell Cottage to figure out wherefrom the smell came, but it was a desperate mission.
Bill and Fleur exchanged a surprise gaze with each other when they came into the kitchen, without getting a reply. The entire family, except Charlie, who was back in Romania, sad around the kitchen table, and they all looked very saturnine. Although, of course, George was missing to, but Bill didn’t think of him, since he only occasionally left the room.
“What’s wrong?” he said in a worried and astonished voice.
“He’s gone”, said Molly. “George! He’s gone!”
Ron, who poured up sugar in his already very sweet coffee, dropped the sugar bowl in his cup at Molly’s words. No one bothered to wash up the spilt coffee or take out the bowl from the cup, not even Ron.
“What do you mean he’s gone?” said Bill.
“He is not here. I just…” Molly burst into tears.
“There, Molly, he’ll come back, I swear”, said Arthur, and tried to comfort his wife by stroking her hair.
“But I don’t understand…”
“Come on, Bill! What don’t you understand? George is gone, he left, he isn’t here anymore! Are you so retarded so you even can’t understand three freaking words?! George… is… gone!”
Fleur had left her mouth open, and for once, she didn’t care about how silly she looked. She knew Ginny had a bad temper, she had seen her scream before, but not like this.
“AND YOU, PLEGM!”
“Ginny, don’t call her that…”
“I CALL HER WHAT I WANT! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’M SICK! BECAUSE I’M NOT, I’M JUST SO FREAKING TIRED OF EVERYONE ACTING LIKE RETARDEDS!”
“Ginny, calm down please…” Molly begged, with tears in her eyes.
“NO I CERTAINLY WILL NOT CALM DOWN! Why don’t you go and look for him?! You can’t just sit here and do nothing! Cry a bit and regret that you didn’t love your son enough and then get depressed because you’re never gonna see him again.WHY AREN’T WE LOOKING FOR HIM, NOW?!”
“Ginny, how could you say that! I love George, I love all of you more than anything, but we have no idea where he could be!”
“Well, I’m gonna look for him, because I want my brother back, even though he’s a stupid moron and I hate him a bit now! Anyone coming with me? No? Alright then.”
She grabbed her wand from the table, rose from the chair and walked out of the room. The family watch the spot where she just had sat, in astonishment. Not until they heard her scream outside “George! Where the fuck are you! Accio George! OH YOU’RE SO STUPID”, Bill pulled himself together and ran after her, but came back after only a minute, without Ginny. Everyone was chocked and kept asking each other how on earth Ginny was able to Disapparate, given the thought that she never even had tried.
“She ees a determined woman”, said Fleur after a few minutes of speculations. “I bet she can do anythin’ if she want. But we should try to find her.”
“Your damn right! Ginny was right, too. We can’t just sit here. Let me just change…”
“No Molly, you stay here in case any of them come back”, said Arthur, who now was standing up. “Come on, the rest of you.”

And so Molly watched as the rest of her family left the house, and she felt miserable. She was used to spend a lot of time alone in this huge house, but she had never felt this lonely. Why can’t I be with them? She thought. Why do they never let me help with other things than cooking and cleaning? Why is it that I’m the one who always must stay in the house while the other is trying to save the world, pull our family together, or do anything heroic? Am I not brave enough? Not good enough? I killed Bellatrix Lestrange, isn’t that proof enough for my bravery and skills? Doesn’t that show that I’m an independent woman who can do something else than stay here, feed the chickens and wipe away dust with my wand?

Molly was left in her miserable thoughts. She had begun to walk in circles, she had cleaned the stove and oven in a Muggle-way to keep herself busy, she had even baked a cake who she now was chewing on, since the others never seemed to come home. I’ve lost them all. She didn’t have the strength to go and check on the family watch, she didn’t knew what she was expecting to see but whatever it was, she didn’t want to see it.

It was nearly midnight when Arthur, Bill and Fleur arrived to the Burrow, with a furious Ginny.
“We must keep looking!”
“Ginny, we’ll continue tomorrow. I am really hungry now, not to mention tired. We’ll report him missing to the Ministry tomorrow.”
“And what will they do? It’s not like he has the Trace or anything, there’s nothing they can do!”
“Ginny, they can help us look after him”, said Bill reasonable.
“Where’s Ronald?” was the first thing Molly said when they entered the kitchen.
“He went to Grimmaud Place to talk to Harry”, Arthur answered her. “I reckon he will stay there a while.”
Molly sighted.
“We’re really falling apart, aren’t we?”